I realize I haven’t been writing as much as I’d like. Mostly, I’m trying to get over…wait…recover from the shock of a crazy huge move. A few months ago, I thought it’d be forever before leaving home. And then it happened, and then what?
To be honest, I feel disillusioned.
Is that wrong?
I never thought I would miss home as much as I do now, and part of that I’ll chock up to simply being completely, 100 percent on my own. I don’t know anyone, and I live by myself.
But part of it, too, is second-guessing what I’ve done. I suppose only time will tell, but I want to come out of this experience stronger, and not kicking myself in the ass for saying “screw you” to everyone and up and leaving. You know?
In any case, I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while, like many other things, but now seems like as good a time as ever. The trip.
I can’t remember if I mentioned this before, but I drove here. With my dad (thank God he was with me). It took us 4.5 days to go from Oregon to New York, and then Albany greeted us with a complete and utter downpour on move-in day, and an apartment building without an elevator. It wasn’t fun.
But I digress.
Most everyone you talk to will tell you about a crazy spiritual quest they went on or some life-changing experience that they had during the All-American Road Trip. What Dad and I did would certainly be called a “road trip,” but how mystic and life-changing it was, I’m not so sure.
We pretty much booked it to the East Coast, stopping only once for anything tourist-related: Niagara Falls (the photo above is my dad shooting Horseshoe Falls). We texted my mom and sister every time we passed through a state, but other than that, it was quite uneventful. I saw more cornfields than I ever cared to, and a lot of road work, and a lot of jackass drivers.
I slept a lot in the car, and my dad dozed, too. I learned that he enjoys a little Sufjan Stevens, and we definitely bonded over cheap hotels, bad coffee, and filling our own tanks of gas. But spiritual or life-changing? I’m not so sure.
What I can say is life-changing right now, is what I’m doing, and if I can finish what I started, that’s when I’ll really be impressed.
It wasn’t the road that was challenging or hard, but being completely on my own. Now’s the challenge. I hope I win in the end.